the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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