Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
