i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize