What a fucking waste of an outfit
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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