you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
