just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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