i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize