another moral hangover. fuck.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
