Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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