i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
