If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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