is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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