lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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