Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
