He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
