Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's the barista slut.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
