if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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