I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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