Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
