I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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