pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
