why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
