remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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