so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
