I'm going to jail i love you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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