I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
