i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
