there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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