dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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