found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
