it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
