woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
