Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Liz is crying about burritos again.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
