If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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