I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
