so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
