Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
