Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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