No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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