Fuck appropriateness.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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