i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
