you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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