Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
