wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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