I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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