I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
