You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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