Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
