Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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