just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
