Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
