C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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