Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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