Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
