She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
