turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
