She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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