Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize