I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
