We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
