So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
