Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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