I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
