You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
try to milk me bitch
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
