Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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