You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
