you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
