Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Swine flu. Run for my life!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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