yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
