who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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