How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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